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Bombardier Beetles

Updated: Oct 11, 2022

A woke friend with dreadlocks in a wide brimmed hat,

through a fog of incense, below a dream catcher,

above a mound of tie-dyed rugs,

told me that anger was bad for me, even

in short bouts, and that I must quell it

with every bit of might as if it were a spark

about to take flame on the fur of my cat.

A bit drastic, I thought.

She recommended sea salts and bloodstone

crystals to cleanse my spirit, then said:

"These rocks have healing properties. It’s science!"

I asked her to explain the science,

but all she said was: "Not a single being on earth

is built for a fiery defence.”

I told her, "Well, actually, some species are."

"No. Nothing is, unless you believe in

dragons that spit fire."

She doused the sage and smashed the trey

of smelly sticks and strode off without

a second glance, while screaming:

"Nothing is built for fire. Nothing is!"

A bit angry, I thought.

I didn’t get a chance to tell her that

bombardier beetles shoot fire from their asses

and a spark was taking flame on her butt.

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